Friday, October 22, 2010

GO Train etiquette: student version...part 1

yes yes, you all hate me because it seems i have abandoned my blog. please forgive. *bows* i've just been swamped with other things in WORK! WORK and MORE WORK!! don't worry though, i've been jotting down things i see on my daily great adventure on the GO Transit system; therefore, i shall have plenty of those to share with you.

i know i am a little late, but the students have started school (god! how old do i feel sayin that!) and i feel like its about time someone said something about the GO Train etiquette...but a student version. you guys are probably thinking, "you were there once too!" true, i was...but i was never...LOUD, inconsiderate, obnoxious and ignorant in public especially at fukin 8am in the morning!!!!!!!!

let's face it, there are a crapload of old people (myself included) on the train and at the crack of god's hour, i seriously do not want to hear about what samantha said to danny, that made him go and make melanie jealous. get me drift?? so let me start by telling you about my daily experience since september hit....(to save you from reading something the length of a philosophy of law textbook, i have put them in bullet points)

1) it's 7:36am, i am pulling into the parking lot at the station...mind you, there are 2 lots at my station and they're HUGE. this is the suburbs we are talking about. we got nothing more than space and room. why is it that i always struggle to find a remotely closer parking spot? one that i won't have to feel like i'm hiking to the north pole to reach the station from my car. is this too much to ask? there are absolutely NO close spots left because the people who are on the train now, has doubled or tripled.

2) this is not a particular problem for myself, but the lack of seats. anyone that gets on the train after about the 3rd stop into the ride, is guarantee to STAND. students love to put their bags in the seat next to them and save it for their friend, who gets on at a stop that is at the END OF THE FUKIN LINE!

3) the noise level on my train every morning is enough for me to take a knife and slit my wrists. its ALL coming from these 3 (sometimes more) high schoolers - why a high school student is on the GO train is beyond my imagination. do they not take the bus these days? if the school is so far from your home that you gotta train it...buddy, u need to change schools.

4) i shall repeat, OLD PEOPLE ENJOY COMPLETE SILENCE AT 8AM IN THE MORNING!!!! not even 5 mins into my ride, i get an instant headache. dude. i have a had a long ass, exhausted week...the last thing i need EVERY MORNING is to hear about who kissed who and who got shoved into who's locker. what hole do these kids crawl out of? and where are their parents? note: the noise level is heard WITH my ears plugged & tiesto playing at max volume.

5) these particular high schoolers that i am referring to, gets off at about the 4th stop into the ride. but for some reason, anytime they get ready to get off the train...the noise level and enthusiasm just increases!! yes i understand you are excited to go to school, trust are not nearly as excited as the rest of the passengers on the train, to see you get the fuk off the train.

6) as soon as these kids get off the train....i can almost see the entire train, jump up for joy and hug each if we had just passed & made it through an Armageddon. for a more vivid picture of what this may look like, refer to the movie Armageddon and the scene at the end where Bruce Willis saves the world in style.

....there, that is what i go through EVERY FUKIN DAY for 5 days straight. i feel like the older i get, the less patience and tolerance i have for shit like this. i mean its one thing to talk to your comrade that you are riding the train with...but to talk as if you are in a school cafeteria. not only that, but to be so ignorant as to NOT realize a) everyone on the train is giving dirty looks & shooting death stares your way and b) your voice is echoing through the train like a just unacceptable and rude. i'm not sure if anyone else shares these experiences, if you do...please leave me a comment and we can hug & console each other.

this is part 1, part 2 will be the a student's guide to what NOT TO DO on a GO train...especially one with me and other older & wiser people in it....

now if you don't hate me already - follow me on twitter!!

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

i'm back....with a little vent!!

Yes, yes I have been MIA....I apologize *bows head* but work has taken its toll on me the past month. Anytime I'm on the train, I jus knock out....when I awake to the customer service ambassador yelling "good morning!! we are arriving at union station" in my ear, I always try to figure out if I'm really dreaming and did I really sleep the whole ride thru.

Anyways, so I hope u guys are all well and didn't miss me too much. Hahaha. I know u did!! Since I have such an honest & open relationship w/u guys....I figure this will be the best place for me to vent.

For the past 2 days of this wk, (this excludes the days from the past 3 all in all, its more than 2 days) this repulsive pony-tailed being continuously sits next to me. The ENTIRE train is empty and there are a gazillion seats that he can choose from....why u gota be all up in my space?!? And the thing is....when this poor excuse for a man decides to sit next to me....he likes to sprawl his arms and legs out. This behaviour only results in 1 thing......the arm rest battle!!! And I usually move away because I dunt want his skin to touch mine in anyway.....

Why am I frustrated?!? Why don't I jus get up and move!?! Well I am frustrated because he takes all my leg/arm room....and he is jus a repulsive person to even sit near. He throws his shit in the seat in front of him if its dude!! This is NOT ur living room!!! And then he tries to cross his legs, which is impossible cuz he's not a small he's all up in, not jus my space, but 2 other ppl's space. Its the GO train....u aint suppose to treat it like ur watching a movie at home, with ur arms and legs sprawled like a dog. -_-

I can't get up and move because by the time he sits next to me....the train is already pretty damn full & I like "my" seat!!!! I refuse to get up....but if I see dude in line @ the station...I usually sit sumwhere else. So I do my part to avoid this creature.....and there was 1 time when I actually got up and sat sumwhere else after he sat down. If man ever asked me if I had a problem, I'd have noooo problems tellin him straight up.

I don't understand what goes on in these ppl's minds when they exert such behaviour?? Ever heard of personal space?? Like I almost wanna tap them on the shoulder and say...."Are u lonely? Is that why u wanna constantly be around sumone within a 10cm radius???" And yes, I periodically have mental images of me running after pony-tailed creature w/my slippers and slapping him for sittin down next to me yet again!!!

I know sum of u may disagree w/wat I've jus said....that's ur opinion but I had to vent a little. And I hope the repulsive creature reads this....that way he'll probably clue in. Its jus my luck...why can I not have a hot, channing tatum lookalike sittin next to me!?!? Ohhh wait, I got a kanye bootleg lookin dude sit near me yesterday morning!! But minus the big mouth, the so-called talent and alllll the money!! Ahahahaha. Okay I'm @ to work I go!! ♥

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

GO's very own finger-eater!

alllrightt.....before u all get ur minds caught in the gutter and panties in a twist, no this post is not wat it may sound like. If anything, its actually pretty disgusting but because its so disgusting, I figure u guys can share my misery and shiver-ness *evil laugh*. I'm sure you're probably asking urself, what would possess her to write about sumthin that grosses her out? Ummm because I'm hoping this person(s) read this and then realize, so they could stop torturing me in the morning....and sometimes at night after work!!

So why do u think people bite their nails?? Out of This is a habit I find so not acceptable whether its public or private. The last thing I need is to shake hands with sumone who is a habitual nail biter. I can jus see the germs and bacteria crawling outta their skin. *shudders* those in health care will understand. Now where am I going with this? Let me begin.....

There's a few ppl on my train that are habitual nail biters, but there is 1 that sticks out in my mind because I see him EVERYDAY!! *joy oh joy* and he jus takes the cake out of all the nail biters out there. It would be a sin not to blog about him. Sooooo in the spotlight he goes! *shines spotlight on man* Understand that my train ride is 45mins, he gets on/off @ my station so I can't jus see him for 20mins or whatever. He's there from start to finish. During this long and at times agonizing, slit ur wrist, train ride.....the man has his finger in his mouth. I mean, at times he'll take his finger out cuz he has to use his teeth to bite down the skin into smaller pieces....easier to digest I guess. U grossed out yet?

Today for example, as soon as he sits down....he takes out his newspaper, unfolds and begin reading, all in the while with his finger in his mouth. Then he moves to his blackberry.....and I coulda sworn he's watching sum sorta video/movie on it, cuz his eyes do not move from the screen of his bb....again with his finger attached to his mouth. I feel like tapping him on the shoulder and saying, *tap tap* excuse me, does ur finger taste like chicken? Cuz the way ur eating at it, I'm sure it does!! At the rate of how he bites his finger, (note: notice how I say finger and not nails? That's because I think he's exhausted everything on his nails, so he has to move on over to the actual finger) he should have nothing left to chew on. But I guess new skin grows out? Gawd!!

Then when he gets off the train, he touches the pole, rails, seats etc., and would put his finger back in his mouth. Excuse me while I throw up!! *gag* Not only does this man chew his finger, he does this tapping thing....he taps his finger to his teeth, to get rid of the smaller scraps of skin. I swear he's mistaken his finger for the piece of kung pao chiken he had the nite before.

Wat do u think is going on in his head while he eats away at his finger? "Oh, teriyaki from last nite's japanese escapade!" or is it "wow. My finger's got real thick skin.....lemme give it an on-spot manicure?" I don't understand what would possess human beings to exert such behaviour and in PUBLIC?? I swear he's oblivious to ppl actually watching him....btw, he jus picked up the newspaper and is reading it...yep, finger back in mouth. I wonder how he is at work? "Excuse me simon, can I ask u sumthing?" "Oh yeah hold on, there's jus 1 piece of skin left...this one's being stubborn. It aint comin out. Let me get back to u in about 10mins"

I'm not sure what they used to teach, or if they still, but I've always been taught to not put ur finger in ur mouth. This man is a parent's ultimate no-no....actually, no it shouldn't be limited to parents, it should be every goddamn person on this fukin train! It gets to the point sometimes, that I wanna go over and grab his finger outta his mouth and ask "are u nervous? Or are u jus hungry??"

your thoughts and comments are welcome. till next post....toodles

Monday, July 19, 2010

"my" seat

Another Monday has dawned upon us *yawn*....morning morning. U often hear people say "gawd, its so early!!" But if u think about it, all of us have probably been doing this repetitive routine for the last...oh I dunno, 10-20yrs, so really why complain? Its not like uve been getting up @ noon everyday and then all of a sudden, *surprise* u gotta get up @ the crack of God's hour. (Note: this is not always applicable, especially if u are a student). But I think us complaining about it gives us something to say jus for the hell of saying it. Shit, I do the same and I am never quite sure why I say it cuz its an obvious fact anyway! I guess its classified as a brain fart moment. Its early, so brain-farts are allowed....

note: this is the scenery i am exposed to, daily...minus the man

As I stand here, waiting for my train to get here already cuz my feet hurt and the dude behind me is fully tryna peer over my shoulder to see why I'm typing frantically on my blackberry, I notice that I get really irritated if I'm not one of the first 3 people standing in line. Even if I'm the 4th person, it automatically bugs the crap outta me. Ur probably sittin there, scratching ur head thinking "this girl's got OCD! Or sum sorta disorder." No I do not. I spent the whole first year psychology self-diagnosing. I know I'm normal.....well at least a fraction of the time. Alrite, before y'all get all weird on me.....hold ur horses and lemme explain.

When I board a train, I know exactly where I'm going to sit...and I sit in that same seat everyday (well almost). Upstairs, 2nd "pod" window seat with the window to my left, going in the opposite direction of the where the train's going (if u ever spot me, u may wave at me....but I dunt guarantee this will harbor the same response/reaction from me. But u can definetly give it a try. Persistence is key!). The one day that sumone is sitting in "my" evil look automatically creeps up my face and then I'm suddenly cursing them in my head. Or sum days (actually today is one of them), there's sumone sittin across from "my" seat and then I gota go sit sumwhere else. *annoyed eye-rolling look* why u ask? refer to the points in my previous post about sittin next to sumone when the rest of the train is empty. Okay side tracked...let's get back on it....

The reason why I make it a point to arrive early @ my station in the morning, jus so I could be one of the first 3 ppl in line is because, I want "my" damn seat! If I was the 10th person in line, I can almost guarantee I won't get "my" seat...and then for the rest of the entire trip and the first part of my morning, I act as if sumone peeed in my cornflakes.

There are a few reasons why I like "my" seat - they are as follows:

1) Its closer to the stairs, so when I get off, I won't have to walk so far (yes, I am of the lazy breed) to actually get off the train.

2) The distance between the seats across from u and the other person (in this particular "pod") is smaller so anybody that's a bit bigger can't sit there and be comfortable. Not to be rude, but the last thing I need is sumone who is 3 times the size of me to be all up in my space, especially when their arms and legs are long...because then I usually imagine them doing the noodle dance with their arms and legs. I'm not saying there's anything wrong w/being bigger/taller....but it makes a difference if ur sittin next to me and your arms/legs are falling on top of me. I don't want our elbows and knees to touch me...because then i feel like we're playing footsie!

3) When I get to a certain point on my ride, I like to nap a bit. In order to make the best and most comfort out of my dinky seat, I lean my head against the window and the window frame. It provides great support for the time being, but not every seat has a comfy window frame for me to lean on. And then I'll end up smacking my head against the window the whole ride through.

4) "my" seat is great for ppl watching - I am the first to see who gets on and off the train on the 2nd floor. Yep, I'm nosey like that.

So this morning, not only do I not get "my" seat, but I gota sit in front of this dude who's sleeping with his mouth wide open. Do u think I can throw a breath mint in his mouth from my seat, get it in on the first try, AND get him to clap like a seal? Hmmmm. *looks for breath mint in purse* So now, not only am I annoyed to the bones, I have this oddly thought of throwing a breath mint into someone's wide open mouth while they're sleeping. If I am miserable right now, you shall share my misery! hahahaha. I kid I kid.

Now the real question is, does anybody else share this experience? Or is it just me? I mean we all have our routine and there are certain aspects of it that we like or dislike...but shit like this REALLY pisses me off. It just doesn't start my morning right. Not to mention, there was a group of chinese people on my train today and they just would NOT STOP their OUTDOOR voices nonetheless. I could hear them through my earphones...yes, my ears were bleeding, just in case you were wondering. If anybody else shares this same reaction/experience/feeling...please let me know, that way I can assure myself that I am normal to say the least. anyone? *crickets chirping* hello?

until next post kids...toodles

Saturday, July 17, 2010

GO Train riders etiquette

this may actually apply to TTC commuters as well, feel free to comment.

first off, let me start off by explaining what GO Train is to those of you who may not be from toronto, but have similar transit systems. the GO train is basically a transit system that takes people who live in the suburbs of toronto or people who literally live in bum-fuk-nowhere, to the center of the financial district in downtown toronto. the ultimate stop would be union station - kinda equivalent to new york's grand central station. (yes i know that may be an unfair comparison, but i couldn't come up with anything else dammit! clearly i don't travel enough! *le sigh*) majority of riders of the GO train are people who work downtown - the GO transit also includes the GO Bus, but that's another can of worms. and i don't take the GO Bus, so i will refrain from commenting...because god knows, a whole shitload of crap goes on on the bus as well.

photo credit: ryan coleman

now that i have the explanation out of the way, i want to focus this post on the riders etiquette while enjoying your daily GO Train ride. the riders etiquette is something that is not written but should generally be understood. assuming that most GO Train riders have been riding for quite some time, there are certain things you just don't do and is not acceptable if you do...well not acceptable in my mind, i'm sure plenty of yous out there may beg to differ. so, let me begin...

1) if there are 8374398759483502830243 empty seats on an empty train, please make sure you do not sit in the seat next to me.
- i'm not sure why people do this, but they do. this is like walking into a completely EMPTY movie theater, seeing the 1 token movie watcher in the theater and then proceeding to go and sit RIGHT NEXT TO THEM. buddy, did you not see the other 2083472342304023942303248 empty seats?? or do i just smell real nice that you had to get up close and personal?

2) make sure you know which floor you want to sit on and the general area, before you board the train
- there is nothing more frustrating when you are trying to get onto the train and the person in front of you has no clue where they want to sit. not only are you probably pissed off because your train is delayed and you've been standing in 30+ degrees heat waiting for your damn're tired from standing and you just want to sit down. people who do the what i'd like to call "2-step shuffle" annoy the crapola outta me. the "2-step shuffle" is when the person has no clue where they're going and there are so many options available, they end up doing the back-n-forth shuffle and think "oh maybe that seat? or should i take the window seat? but wait, that's facing the wrong direction..." not only is this bastard now holding up the gazillion people behind him who are just as eager to get on the train as he/she is, but they've now gotta do the "excuse me, sorry, excuse me" thing to avoid bumping into the 20348209342 people waiting to get on the train.

3) use your INDOOR voice while on the train
- ....or refrain from speaking at all, especially at 7-8am in the morning. it always puzzles me how people can carry FULL-ON phone/in person conversations at 7-8am in the morning. i am already miserable having to wake up and ride my ass to work, but i gotta listen to some bastard chirp in my ear? no, i don't think so. i understand sum of us are more enthusiastic about work, but for fuk's sakes please do not make my ears bleed THROUGH MY EARPHONES with your conversations. i do not want to hear what you had for dinner last nite and how you beat your wife/husband. can people not shut up for 45mins? is that too much to ask? it is at this time when i think back to the days when my kindergarten teacher gave us stars for being quiet and STAYING quiet...

4) eating/applying makeup on the train
- this may only apply to some of you...but i hate when people eat or apply makeup on the train. when people eat on the train, i feel like they're deliberately trying to tempt my appetite with their breakfast. sometimes, when they're having something that came in a paper bag, they are eating it with the bag wrapped around the bagel/sandwich and its like they're wait, eating the paper bag because their face is dug right into the paper bag. then you sit there and wonder, "what's for breakfast?" and if you can see what they're having, you're fuked because that's exactly what you're going to be having for breakfast either the same day or the following day.
- women who apply makeup on the train, should be given a slap in the face. sorry, but i'm a makeup addict myself and i will never apply my makeup on the train. i've always had a hard time understanding why anyone would give up the huge vanity space you have in a bathroom and choose the dinky little seat space on the train, to sprawl out your makeup. what is the logic behind this? please stop fanning your face powder all over my black club monaco dress pants, before i reach over and slap you upside the head. btw, your eyeliner is now resemble a husky.

5) the arm rest battle
- i understand on the GO train or any trains in general, there is a limited amount of arm rest space. this is also the reason why i choose not to sit next to my friend Ryan, when we ride the train. we usually end up doing an elbow battle before either of us claim victory to the arm rest. i almost have this urge to get to the seat first, put my elbow on the arm rest and stick out my tongue at the person who sits down next to me. this may not seem like a significant thing to people who do not ride the train, but BELIEVE ME, the last thing you want is your neighbor being all up on the arm rest and then you are stuck with an idling elbow in a position that will cause numbness in your arm, about 20 mins into the ride.

....that's all for now, until next post. toodles.

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Friday, July 16, 2010

first and foremost...

I'd like to that's cheesy. so lemme just say, now that you have stumbled across my are def in for a nice little joy ride. WAHAHAHA!!

this is the first post of the infamous "on the go with bee"!! *dun dun duuunn* so I guess I should start off with a brief intro of myself, because god knows I'll get all kinds of questions and even if ur not guna ask, I know those ?s are runnin thru ur head. *picks @ ur brain*

*ahem* *mic check 1 2 1 2* my name is bonita (yes it is a spanish/portugese name and NO i am not either of these ethnicities) and yes that is my real name. im a proud sagittarius...born dec 12. (mark that down bitches!). I am not naturally blonde, but I do have my blonde tendencies and these all vary in severity depending on the weather and wat day of the week it is. I graduated maybe....*thinks* *scratches head*....*thinks some more* ohh yes, almost 4 years ago. And if ur all turning a whoopin 26 this year. *hangs head*

I am 100% chinese by blood....but not ur typical chiney girl @ pacific mall. Yes, I shits & giggles @ chiney people....ohhh shuttup!! We all do it!! Count how many times u've said "fukin chinese ppl can't drive!!!" this week.....yesss and I don't blame u. May I also add, I am the ONLY chiney person who can't do math to save my life. My parents & family think I'm a disgrace to our race...they often ask me, where are the results of my many kumon lessons. As a result, i am none of the following: an engineer, an accountant, a real estate agent or a banker. Hahaha. However, I do work @ a bank....I am NOT nor do i classify myself as a banker. Don't ask me about ur mortgage, PLCs, loans, etc. Also, I am not an I dunno why u have a hold on ur account.

If u haven't noticed from the last little blurb....I have no shame. But that's what makes this blog of mine so much more interesting. I say and do things most people do not.....hmmmm....yes that includes breaking out my 2-step in the middle of a parking lot while listening to my ipod. I think that's wat makes me, me. I am not hoping to change ur world with this blog nor do i want your unconstructive criticism (is unconstructive a word?!)....but I'm sure we can all use a little giggle every morning....yes even when ur sittin on the toilet with ur laptop on ur lap. Don't front....I know y'all do that!! also, if there's any english majors reading this right will hate me because any sort of proper grammar is non-existent on my blog. i type how i want and how i feel....if i spelt something wrong, but u can still understand what i mean....then i've gotten my point across. no need to tell me "neighborhood" is spelt wrong...u get my drift.

the idea of this blog came about simply by me updating my various online social networks. i.e. facebook and twitter. yes, some may see this as useless or senseless...especially people who don't understand twitter. but listen, i am on a 45min GO train ride from markham to union station, every fukin day. i need something to occupy my mind before i go i began to notice certain things or behaviors that people have when they're confined to a box (or wat the general public would like to refer as, the "cab" of the train) for 45 mins, or i would notice people in general. some may call it people watching, i call it bird offense to anyone who's a bird lover. *ducks away from the shoe you are about to throw at me* ANYWAY....i began to update my fb and twitter with things that i observed and it actually had fantastic and positive feedback. basically, i made people shit their pants laughing. yes, some of these updates came with visuals....i'm surprised i havent gotten arrested for sneaking a pic of the hideously clothed woman on my train.

the main purpose of this is really just to cure my boredom and make you shits and if you at any point, giggled while reading my posts....i have done my due diligence. anyway, I think this is a long enuff intro.....I'm sure I have left stuff out, so (I had to add this last bit to be politically correct and fair to all those who don't read the whole post!!!) if u wanna know anything about me....jus ask.

....genuinely, bee
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