Tuesday, July 20, 2010

GO's very own finger-eater!

alllrightt.....before u all get ur minds caught in the gutter and panties in a twist, no this post is not wat it may sound like. If anything, its actually pretty disgusting but because its so disgusting, I figure u guys can share my misery and shiver-ness *evil laugh*. I'm sure you're probably asking urself, what would possess her to write about sumthin that grosses her out? Ummm because I'm hoping this person(s) read this and then realize, so they could stop torturing me in the morning....and sometimes at night after work!!

So why do u think people bite their nails?? Out of habit...nervousness...security/insecurity. This is a habit I find so not acceptable whether its public or private. The last thing I need is to shake hands with sumone who is a habitual nail biter. I can jus see the germs and bacteria crawling outta their skin. *shudders* those in health care will understand. Now where am I going with this? Let me begin.....

There's a few ppl on my train that are habitual nail biters, but there is 1 that sticks out in my mind because I see him EVERYDAY!! *joy oh joy* and he jus takes the cake out of all the nail biters out there. It would be a sin not to blog about him. Sooooo in the spotlight he goes! *shines spotlight on man* Understand that my train ride is 45mins, he gets on/off @ my station so I can't jus see him for 20mins or whatever. He's there from start to finish. During this long and at times agonizing, slit ur wrist, train ride.....the man has his finger in his mouth. I mean, at times he'll take his finger out cuz he has to use his teeth to bite down the skin into smaller pieces....easier to digest I guess. U grossed out yet?

Today for example, as soon as he sits down....he takes out his newspaper, unfolds and begin reading, all in the while with his finger in his mouth. Then he moves to his blackberry.....and I coulda sworn he's watching sum sorta video/movie on it, cuz his eyes do not move from the screen of his bb....again with his finger attached to his mouth. I feel like tapping him on the shoulder and saying, *tap tap* excuse me, does ur finger taste like chicken? Cuz the way ur eating at it, I'm sure it does!! At the rate of how he bites his finger, (note: notice how I say finger and not nails? That's because I think he's exhausted everything on his nails, so he has to move on over to the actual finger) he should have nothing left to chew on. But I guess new skin grows out? Gawd!!

Then when he gets off the train, he touches the pole, rails, seats etc., and would put his finger back in his mouth. Excuse me while I throw up!! *gag* Not only does this man chew his finger, he does this tapping thing....he taps his finger to his teeth, to get rid of the smaller scraps of skin. I swear he's mistaken his finger for the piece of kung pao chiken he had the nite before.

Wat do u think is going on in his head while he eats away at his finger? "Oh, teriyaki from last nite's japanese escapade!" or is it "wow. My finger's got real thick skin.....lemme give it an on-spot manicure?" I don't understand what would possess human beings to exert such behaviour and in PUBLIC?? I swear he's oblivious to ppl actually watching him....btw, he jus picked up the newspaper and is reading it...yep, finger back in mouth. I wonder how he is at work? "Excuse me simon, can I ask u sumthing?" "Oh yeah hold on, there's jus 1 piece of skin left...this one's being stubborn. It aint comin out. Let me get back to u in about 10mins"

I'm not sure what they used to teach, or if they still, but I've always been taught to not put ur finger in ur mouth. This man is a parent's ultimate no-no....actually, no it shouldn't be limited to parents, it should be every goddamn person on this fukin train! It gets to the point sometimes, that I wanna go over and grab his finger outta his mouth and ask "are u nervous? Or are u jus hungry??"

your thoughts and comments are welcome. till next post....toodles

Monday, July 19, 2010

"my" seat

Another Monday has dawned upon us *yawn*....morning morning. U often hear people say "gawd, its so early!!" But if u think about it, all of us have probably been doing this repetitive routine for the last...oh I dunno, 10-20yrs, so really why complain? Its not like uve been getting up @ noon everyday and then all of a sudden, *surprise* u gotta get up @ the crack of God's hour. (Note: this is not always applicable, especially if u are a student). But I think us complaining about it gives us something to say jus for the hell of saying it. Shit, I do the same and I am never quite sure why I say it cuz its an obvious fact anyway! I guess its classified as a brain fart moment. Its early, so brain-farts are allowed....

note: this is the scenery i am exposed to, daily...minus the man

As I stand here, waiting for my train to get here already cuz my feet hurt and the dude behind me is fully tryna peer over my shoulder to see why I'm typing frantically on my blackberry, I notice that I get really irritated if I'm not one of the first 3 people standing in line. Even if I'm the 4th person, it automatically bugs the crap outta me. Ur probably sittin there, scratching ur head thinking "this girl's got OCD! Or sum sorta disorder." No I do not. I spent the whole first year psychology self-diagnosing. I know I'm normal.....well at least a fraction of the time. Alrite, before y'all get all weird on me.....hold ur horses and lemme explain.

When I board a train, I know exactly where I'm going to sit...and I sit in that same seat everyday (well almost). Upstairs, 2nd "pod" window seat with the window to my left, going in the opposite direction of the where the train's going (if u ever spot me, u may wave at me....but I dunt guarantee this will harbor the same response/reaction from me. But u can definetly give it a try. Persistence is key!). The one day that sumone is sitting in "my" seat....an evil look automatically creeps up my face and then I'm suddenly cursing them in my head. Or sum days (actually today is one of them), there's sumone sittin across from "my" seat and then I gota go sit sumwhere else. *annoyed eye-rolling look* why u ask? refer to the points in my previous post about sittin next to sumone when the rest of the train is empty. Okay side tracked...let's get back on it....

The reason why I make it a point to arrive early @ my station in the morning, jus so I could be one of the first 3 ppl in line is because, I want "my" damn seat! If I was the 10th person in line, I can almost guarantee I won't get "my" seat...and then for the rest of the entire trip and the first part of my morning, I act as if sumone peeed in my cornflakes.

There are a few reasons why I like "my" seat - they are as follows:

1) Its closer to the stairs, so when I get off, I won't have to walk so far (yes, I am of the lazy breed) to actually get off the train.

2) The distance between the seats across from u and the other person (in this particular "pod") is smaller so anybody that's a bit bigger can't sit there and be comfortable. Not to be rude, but the last thing I need is sumone who is 3 times the size of me to be all up in my space, especially when their arms and legs are long...because then I usually imagine them doing the noodle dance with their arms and legs. I'm not saying there's anything wrong w/being bigger/taller....but it makes a difference if ur sittin next to me and your arms/legs are falling on top of me. I don't want our elbows and knees to touch me...because then i feel like we're playing footsie!

3) When I get to a certain point on my ride, I like to nap a bit. In order to make the best and most comfort out of my dinky seat, I lean my head against the window and the window frame. It provides great support for the time being, but not every seat has a comfy window frame for me to lean on. And then I'll end up smacking my head against the window the whole ride through.

4) "my" seat is great for ppl watching - I am the first to see who gets on and off the train on the 2nd floor. Yep, I'm nosey like that.

So this morning, not only do I not get "my" seat, but I gota sit in front of this dude who's sleeping with his mouth wide open. Do u think I can throw a breath mint in his mouth from my seat, get it in on the first try, AND get him to clap like a seal? Hmmmm. *looks for breath mint in purse* So now, not only am I annoyed to the bones, I have this oddly thought of throwing a breath mint into someone's wide open mouth while they're sleeping. If I am miserable right now, you shall share my misery! hahahaha. I kid I kid.

Now the real question is, does anybody else share this experience? Or is it just me? I mean we all have our routine and there are certain aspects of it that we like or dislike...but shit like this REALLY pisses me off. It just doesn't start my morning right. Not to mention, there was a group of chinese people on my train today and they just would NOT STOP talking...in their OUTDOOR voices nonetheless. I could hear them through my earphones...yes, my ears were bleeding, just in case you were wondering. If anybody else shares this same reaction/experience/feeling...please let me know, that way I can assure myself that I am normal to say the least. anyone? *crickets chirping* hello?

until next post kids...toodles

Saturday, July 17, 2010

GO Train riders etiquette

this may actually apply to TTC commuters as well, feel free to comment.

first off, let me start off by explaining what GO Train is to those of you who may not be from toronto, but have similar transit systems. the GO train is basically a transit system that takes people who live in the suburbs of toronto or people who literally live in bum-fuk-nowhere, to the center of the financial district in downtown toronto. the ultimate stop would be union station - kinda equivalent to new york's grand central station. (yes i know that may be an unfair comparison, but i couldn't come up with anything else dammit! clearly i don't travel enough! *le sigh*) majority of riders of the GO train are people who work downtown - the GO transit also includes the GO Bus, but that's another can of worms. and i don't take the GO Bus, so i will refrain from commenting...because god knows, a whole shitload of crap goes on on the bus as well.

photo credit: ryan coleman

now that i have the explanation out of the way, i want to focus this post on the riders etiquette while enjoying your daily GO Train ride. the riders etiquette is something that is not written but should generally be understood. assuming that most GO Train riders have been riding for quite some time, there are certain things you just don't do and is not acceptable if you do...well not acceptable in my mind, i'm sure plenty of yous out there may beg to differ. so, let me begin...

1) if there are 8374398759483502830243 empty seats on an empty train, please make sure you do not sit in the seat next to me.
- i'm not sure why people do this, but they do. this is like walking into a completely EMPTY movie theater, seeing the 1 token movie watcher in the theater and then proceeding to go and sit RIGHT NEXT TO THEM. buddy, did you not see the other 2083472342304023942303248 empty seats?? or do i just smell real nice that you had to get up close and personal?

2) make sure you know which floor you want to sit on and the general area, before you board the train
- there is nothing more frustrating when you are trying to get onto the train and the person in front of you has no clue where they want to sit. not only are you probably pissed off because your train is delayed and you've been standing in 30+ degrees heat waiting for your damn train...you're tired from standing and you just want to sit down. people who do the what i'd like to call "2-step shuffle" annoy the crapola outta me. the "2-step shuffle" is when the person has no clue where they're going and there are so many options available, they end up doing the back-n-forth shuffle and think "oh maybe that seat? or should i take the window seat? but wait, that's facing the wrong direction..." not only is this bastard now holding up the gazillion people behind him who are just as eager to get on the train as he/she is, but they've now gotta do the "excuse me, sorry, excuse me" thing to avoid bumping into the 20348209342 people waiting to get on the train.

3) use your INDOOR voice while on the train
- ....or refrain from speaking at all, especially at 7-8am in the morning. it always puzzles me how people can carry FULL-ON phone/in person conversations at 7-8am in the morning. i am already miserable having to wake up and ride my ass to work, but i gotta listen to some bastard chirp in my ear? no, i don't think so. i understand sum of us are more enthusiastic about work, but for fuk's sakes please do not make my ears bleed THROUGH MY EARPHONES with your conversations. i do not want to hear what you had for dinner last nite and how you beat your wife/husband. can people not shut up for 45mins? is that too much to ask? it is at this time when i think back to the days when my kindergarten teacher gave us stars for being quiet and STAYING quiet...

4) eating/applying makeup on the train
- this may only apply to some of you...but i hate when people eat or apply makeup on the train. when people eat on the train, i feel like they're deliberately trying to tempt my appetite with their breakfast. sometimes, when they're having something that came in a paper bag, they are eating it with the bag wrapped around the bagel/sandwich and its like they're munching...no wait, eating the paper bag because their face is dug right into the paper bag. then you sit there and wonder, "what's for breakfast?" and if you can see what they're having, you're fuked because that's exactly what you're going to be having for breakfast either the same day or the following day.
- women who apply makeup on the train, should be given a slap in the face. sorry, but i'm a makeup addict myself and i will never apply my makeup on the train. i've always had a hard time understanding why anyone would give up the huge vanity space you have in a bathroom and choose the dinky little seat space on the train, to sprawl out your makeup. what is the logic behind this? please stop fanning your face powder all over my black club monaco dress pants, before i reach over and slap you upside the head. btw, your eyeliner is crooked...you now resemble a husky.

5) the arm rest battle
- i understand on the GO train or any trains in general, there is a limited amount of arm rest space. this is also the reason why i choose not to sit next to my friend Ryan, when we ride the train. we usually end up doing an elbow battle before either of us claim victory to the arm rest. i almost have this urge to get to the seat first, put my elbow on the arm rest and stick out my tongue at the person who sits down next to me. this may not seem like a significant thing to people who do not ride the train, but BELIEVE ME, the last thing you want is your neighbor being all up on the arm rest and then you are stuck with an idling elbow in a position that will cause numbness in your arm, about 20 mins into the ride.

....that's all for now, until next post. toodles.

Follow my blog with bloglovin

Friday, July 16, 2010

first and foremost...

I'd like to thank......no that's cheesy. so lemme just say, now that you have stumbled across my blog...you are def in for a nice little joy ride. WAHAHAHA!!

this is the first post of the infamous "on the go with bee"!! *dun dun duuunn* so I guess I should start off with a brief intro of myself, because god knows I'll get all kinds of questions and even if ur not guna ask, I know those ?s are runnin thru ur head. *picks @ ur brain*

*ahem* *mic check 1 2 1 2* my name is bonita (yes it is a spanish/portugese name and NO i am not either of these ethnicities) and yes that is my real name. im a proud sagittarius...born dec 12. (mark that down bitches!). I am not naturally blonde, but I do have my blonde tendencies and these all vary in severity depending on the weather and wat day of the week it is. I graduated maybe....*thinks* *scratches head*....*thinks some more* ohh yes, almost 4 years ago. And if ur all wondering....im turning a whoopin 26 this year. *hangs head*

I am 100% chinese by blood....but not ur typical chiney girl @ pacific mall. Yes, I shits & giggles @ chiney people....ohhh shuttup!! We all do it!! Count how many times u've said "fukin chinese ppl can't drive!!!" this week.....yesss and I don't blame u. May I also add, I am the ONLY chiney person who can't do math to save my life. My parents & family think I'm a disgrace to our race...they often ask me, where are the results of my many kumon lessons. As a result, i am none of the following: an engineer, an accountant, a real estate agent or a banker. Hahaha. However, I do work @ a bank....I am NOT nor do i classify myself as a banker. Don't ask me about ur mortgage, PLCs, loans, etc. Also, I am not an ATM...so I dunno why u have a hold on ur account.

If u haven't noticed from the last little blurb....I have no shame. But that's what makes this blog of mine so much more interesting. I say and do things most people do not.....hmmmm....yes that includes breaking out my 2-step in the middle of a parking lot while listening to my ipod. I think that's wat makes me, me. I am not hoping to change ur world with this blog nor do i want your unconstructive criticism (is unconstructive a word?!)....but I'm sure we can all use a little giggle every morning....yes even when ur sittin on the toilet with ur laptop on ur lap. Don't front....I know y'all do that!! also, if there's any english majors reading this right now...you will hate me because any sort of proper grammar is non-existent on my blog. i type how i want and how i feel....if i spelt something wrong, but u can still understand what i mean....then i've gotten my point across. no need to tell me "neighborhood" is spelt wrong...u get my drift.

the idea of this blog came about simply by me updating my various online social networks. i.e. facebook and twitter. yes, some may see this as useless or senseless...especially people who don't understand twitter. but listen, i am on a 45min GO train ride from markham to union station, every fukin day. i need something to occupy my mind before i go insane...so i began to notice certain things or behaviors that people have when they're confined to a box (or wat the general public would like to refer as, the "cab" of the train) for 45 mins, or i would notice people in general. some may call it people watching, i call it bird watching...no offense to anyone who's a bird lover. *ducks away from the shoe you are about to throw at me* ANYWAY....i began to update my fb and twitter with things that i observed and it actually had fantastic and positive feedback. basically, i made people shit their pants laughing. yes, some of these updates came with visuals....i'm surprised i havent gotten arrested for sneaking a pic of the hideously clothed woman on my train.

the main purpose of this is really just to cure my boredom and make you shits and giggles....so if you at any point, giggled while reading my posts....i have done my due diligence. anyway, I think this is a long enuff intro.....I'm sure I have left stuff out, so (I had to add this last bit to be politically correct and fair to all those who don't read the whole post!!!) if u wanna know anything about me....jus ask.

....genuinely, bee
Follow my blog with bloglovin