this may actually apply to TTC commuters as well, feel free to comment.
first off, let me start off by explaining what GO Train is to those of you who may not be from toronto, but have similar transit systems. the GO train is basically a transit system that takes people who live in the suburbs of toronto or people who literally live in bum-fuk-nowhere, to the center of the financial district in downtown toronto. the ultimate stop would be union station - kinda equivalent to new york's grand central station. (yes i know that may be an unfair comparison, but i couldn't come up with anything else dammit! clearly i don't travel enough! *le sigh*) majority of riders of the GO train are people who work downtown - the GO transit also includes the GO Bus, but that's another can of worms. and i don't take the GO Bus, so i will refrain from commenting...because god knows, a whole shitload of crap goes on on the bus as well.
photo credit: ryan coleman
now that i have the explanation out of the way, i want to focus this post on the riders etiquette while enjoying your daily GO Train ride. the riders etiquette is something that is not written but should generally be understood. assuming that most GO Train riders have been riding for quite some time, there are certain things you just don't do and is not acceptable if you do...well not acceptable in my mind, i'm sure plenty of yous out there may beg to differ. so, let me begin...
1) if there are 8374398759483502830243 empty seats on an empty train, please make sure you do not sit in the seat next to me.
- i'm not sure why people do this, but they do. this is like walking into a completely EMPTY movie theater, seeing the 1 token movie watcher in the theater and then proceeding to go and sit RIGHT NEXT TO THEM. buddy, did you not see the other 2083472342304023942303248 empty seats?? or do i just smell real nice that you had to get up close and personal?
2) make sure you know which floor you want to sit on and the general area, before you board the train
- there is nothing more frustrating when you are trying to get onto the train and the person in front of you has no clue where they want to sit. not only are you probably pissed off because your train is delayed and you've been standing in 30+ degrees heat waiting for your damn train...you're tired from standing and you just want to sit down. people who do the what i'd like to call "2-step shuffle" annoy the crapola outta me. the "2-step shuffle" is when the person has no clue where they're going and there are so many options available, they end up doing the back-n-forth shuffle and think "oh maybe that seat? or should i take the window seat? but wait, that's facing the wrong direction..." not only is this bastard now holding up the gazillion people behind him who are just as eager to get on the train as he/she is, but they've now gotta do the "excuse me, sorry, excuse me" thing to avoid bumping into the 20348209342 people waiting to get on the train.
3) use your INDOOR voice while on the train
- ....or refrain from speaking at all, especially at 7-8am in the morning. it always puzzles me how people can carry FULL-ON phone/in person conversations at 7-8am in the morning. i am already miserable having to wake up and ride my ass to work, but i gotta listen to some bastard chirp in my ear? no, i don't think so. i understand sum of us are more enthusiastic about work, but for fuk's sakes please do not make my ears bleed THROUGH MY EARPHONES with your conversations. i do not want to hear what you had for dinner last nite and how you beat your wife/husband. can people not shut up for 45mins? is that too much to ask? it is at this time when i think back to the days when my kindergarten teacher gave us stars for being quiet and STAYING quiet...
4) eating/applying makeup on the train
- this may only apply to some of you...but i hate when people eat or apply makeup on the train. when people eat on the train, i feel like they're deliberately trying to tempt my appetite with their breakfast. sometimes, when they're having something that came in a paper bag, they are eating it with the bag wrapped around the bagel/sandwich and its like they're munching...no wait, eating the paper bag because their face is dug right into the paper bag. then you sit there and wonder, "what's for breakfast?" and if you can see what they're having, you're fuked because that's exactly what you're going to be having for breakfast either the same day or the following day.
- women who apply makeup on the train, should be given a slap in the face. sorry, but i'm a makeup addict myself and i will never apply my makeup on the train. i've always had a hard time understanding why anyone would give up the huge vanity space you have in a bathroom and choose the dinky little seat space on the train, to sprawl out your makeup. what is the logic behind this? please stop fanning your face powder all over my black club monaco dress pants, before i reach over and slap you upside the head. btw, your eyeliner is crooked...you now resemble a husky.
5) the arm rest battle
- i understand on the GO train or any trains in general, there is a limited amount of arm rest space. this is also the reason why i choose not to sit next to my friend Ryan, when we ride the train. we usually end up doing an elbow battle before either of us claim victory to the arm rest. i almost have this urge to get to the seat first, put my elbow on the arm rest and stick out my tongue at the person who sits down next to me. this may not seem like a significant thing to people who do not ride the train, but BELIEVE ME, the last thing you want is your neighbor being all up on the arm rest and then you are stuck with an idling elbow in a position that will cause numbness in your arm, about 20 mins into the ride.
....that's all for now, until next post. toodles.
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